The Sky Has Limits

Angels with a Dark Past

It was my first viewing of Sin City that inspired me to watch Dark Angel, both starring Jessica Alba, and it is strangely telling that I was seeing them in the wrong chronological order.  I discovered many other roles in the show were filled by people I now know for several other reasons.

For instance, I giggled a little when I first saw Lt. Felix Gaeta playing a co-worker of Max's (Alba's character), and I thought we were having a BSG reunion when Tory Foster showed up for an episode.  Tom Hanniger (from My Bloody Valentine 3-D) makes a single episode appearance in season 1, but appears to have a much larger role in season 2, which I have yet to watch.

Stranger still has been seeing some actors appear after they had already established a character in my mind.  Larry "Kube" Kubiac of Parker Lewis Can't Loose (or "Olaf the Troll" from Buffy) is hysterically flamboyant, but the real kicker was seeing Kira Neris as a malevolent bitch.  As little of Star Trek:  Deep Space 9 as I've seen, her character is still iconically imprinted on my mind when I see that face.

All of this makes me realize the actor's plight:  that your face is how people identify you, and when you are playing someone else, that is the associaton they make.  I can't count the number of times I've seen interviews with TV or movie stars who say, "I'm not Luke Skywalker!" or "I'm not Harry Potter!".  I feel sympathy, and I actually find it very refreshing to see them out of context every once in a while.  Most recently, watching Edward James Olmos speak at a special summit of the United Nations was a bit different.

I have noted occurrences of known actors gathering on a new project before, but it is still a bit odd to see snippets of their portfolios before they got "that starring role".  I'll post an actual review of Dark Angel once I get through season 2, and there may be some more familiar faces still to come.

The Abscess of Excess

I consider my father an incredibly intelligent person, who has far more experience than I do, and has recently been bloating his mind with powerful books that talk about the modern era.  About a year ago, I lived with him for a month or so, and it gave me the chance to start interacting on his level, instead of forcing him to come down to mine.  My newfound political interest is almost a direct result of that occurring during an election year.

During that time, he began warning me that my generation is in a pinnacle place to shape our country, and that our abundance of over-spending and living beyond our means would catch up with us.  He showed me a sobering statistic from a Time Magazine a year ago, February: that our country consumes 11 times what it produces.  He claimed something like that is unsustainable and that eventually, our economy would shift to deal with it.  Sure enough, things went South.

When perusing the current Time Magazine headlines from my RSS feed, I happened upon The End of Excess: Is This Crisis Good For America?, and while it's a good 10-minute read, it's probably the best article I've read by them.  It accurately labels our country and its habits, then tells us what we shouldn't do, and what we could do.  If ever you were looking for something that sums up what this generation has been focused on for the last 20 years (and where it's going), this is it.  I would encourage you all to take the time to read it.  While not saying anything brilliantly new, it takes many things into consideration and places them side by side for your own edification.

Isn't it Ironic?

A little too ironic...

Irony is probably second only to sarcasm in humorous use, and I see it all around me.  The most recent manifestation is my thorough enjoyment of writing a story that reflects my own despondent view of life.  Deeper still, the story could not have been born without first having utter frustration at existence, and at this particular moment, I find myself pretty damn pleased with life.

Among other ironies, I have one in particular happening with Dungeons & Dragons.  My whole life, I've found it difficult to play role-playing games, because I love being told a story and socializing with others, but I always felt like I was not playing my "role" very well, be it the character, or the player.  Participation always seemed to get in my way of enjoying what was going on around me, yet I wanted to be a part of it.  After reading the newest edition of the Dungeon Master's Guide, I realized that I have always been the "observer" or "storyteller" type of role-player, who enjoys watching things unfold and creating new tales to relate, respectively.  A light-bulb switched on over my head, and I realized that makes me the perfect candidate for a Dungeon Master, which I had simply never thought of before.

Now, to enjoy participating in the storytelling and socialization, all I needed were some friends willing to play.  Sure enough, the time was ripe, and as I mentioned it casually at dinner the other night, everyone seemed "game".  Hopefully, in a few week's time I can be up and running a campaign of my own.  Perhaps someday I'll be comfortable enough to put something together myself, as I'm bursting at the seems with ideas for neat NPCs and strange environs.

As the irony treads ever deeper, I have never been much for fantasy fiction, preferring it's smarter, older brother, science fiction.  Yet here I am, contemplating several swords and sorcery scenarios, eager to see them brought forth.

Will it ever stop?!  I love meat, in every form, barely pausing to consider the implications of veal or foie gras.  Tonight, I plan to try and ask my almost-vegan out on a second date.  While I'm not sure it would ever work out in the end, who is to say?  I find her opposites very attractive, and I intend to find out.

Perhaps I simply like melodrama, or maybe my life has become so stagnant that I court irony as if it were some fleeting romance.  I suppose only time (and my blog) will tell.

Some nuggets

Be them gold, or of a darker sort, I promised to publish the main concept for my story here, and we'll pray that my audience is either so small, or so disinterested in my work that the thing will not be stolen out from under me before I even have a chance to write it.  While my Script Frenzy page has a one-line blurb about the play, here is a much more comprehensive idea of what I'm going for:

Explanation of Alex's Oyster

Alex is a fairly typical girl who goes through a variety of situations that happen to just about everybody, but the scenes will focus on the ones that impact her most, and shape who she will become.  Sadly, most of these have the effect of causing her to loose her innocence and, eventually, her interest in life.  The scenes will each occur during one of her three most important growth phases: when she is 16 (the HIGH SCHOOL PHASE), when she is 20 (the COLLEGE PHASE), and lastly when she is 24 (the CAREER PHASE).  Each phase will have some of the more obvious situations (romance, alcohol/drugs, siblings/parents) but the things that happen will be anticipated/reflected in the other two, and not necessarily in chronological order, but with obvious logical implications.  I plan to bounce around (Lost-style) and hopefully there will be enough continuity to not confuse everyone.

The title is a reference to the popular adage, "The world is my oyster" which comes from a Shakespearean play.  Many people take this to mean, "I have my life ahead of me, and I shall embrace it to seek my destiny/fortune."  In case my use wasn't obvious, I'm being depressingly ironic, because gradually Alex no longer cares about seeking her destiny.

Also, although there is a spot for me to list my script's soundtrack, I'm not allowed to link them, so here it is (for flavor), so far:

Mindy Smith - It's Amazing
VAST - Here
T.H.C. - Dip
T.H.C. - Need to Destroy
Britney Spears - Unusual You
Hilary Duff - Stranger
Ben Folds Five - Brick
Jonatha Brooke - Inconsolable
Linkin Park - My December
Five For Fighting - 100 Years
Jon McLaughlin - Human
Ben Folds - Still Fighting It
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

You may have noticed I've created a good candidate for "Most Depressing Playlist, Ever".  I'm still searching for songs to soften things a little, but stay within the mood.  We shall see what lightning strikes me in that particular vein.

...definitely frenzied

My friend Garret, (who does some composition himself) told me last night that he is consistently meticulous in the writing of outlines for his work.  I have no such illusions of organization, but I realized that he may have had a point: it's a good idea to write some things down about where your idea is going.  As a result, I tried to harness some of the crazy ideas blasting through the station of my mind like a high-speed bullet train, and began writing down some concepts/scenarios for my Script Frenzy stage play.

After a while, I started feeling like I was cheating a little, because a one line sentence starting fleshing itself out into entire paragraphs, encompassing multiple scenes and building on other ideas I had already written down.  Not unlike the torrential spout of "verbage" I unintentionally employ in conversation, things started playing out on the page, my fingers desperately trying to keep up with my brain.  The medium is proving itself inadequate to deal with my stream of ideas!  Concepts are developing far more than I had intended before I officially "start" on April 1st.

Something like this has happened to me before, during classes for web-design that empowered me with new techniques of expression.  The tools felt mired and sluggish, while my consciousness was something akin to a Kenyan at the Olympics.  The two usually found a strange reconciliation, tempering the wild metals crackling in the stone with a steady hammering progression that forced superiority out of each idea.  I should be so lucky to discover that a similar forging will occur with my writing.

Who knew?  I'm not sure Aaron was really game for it himself when he casually dropped me an e-mail, yet I presume he finds himself caught up in the tempest of my excitement.  Never before have I been so sure I wanted to do something, with perhaps the exception of excising my virginity.  Garret upgraded tropical storm to hurricane when he told me how sure he was that I am capable of splendor.  The remark was born in a conversation about my prose, but we're both in anticipation of my current work.  There was even a whisper of publication (pending exceptional branding) that caused my heart to skip a beat.  Here is someone I respect for writing, telling me they expect great things.  While I could only dream of holding such a place of esteem for others, I hope I can pass along this confidence... (Aaron, this means you!)

Frenzy, or frantic?

The other day, Aaron invited me to participate in Script Frenzy, which is apparently what writers do in between NaNoWriMo (November) and 6 months later in May, when they encourage you to go back and edit your novel.  Script Frenzy asks you to write "100 pages of original scripted material in 30 days" which starts April 1st, and ends on the 30th.  As I have never written anything more than short stories, and they were not scripts, this scares the hell out of me.

BUT!

I happened upon my plot premise last night, while drinking a supremely made Hendrick's gin martini!  Aside from learning script format, this was my biggest hurdle, and now that I don't have to use their "plot machine" to churn out some nonsensical premise, I think I can write with much more confidence.  I'm still finalizing the idea (and the title) but as soon as I do, I'll print it here.

Meanwhile, I'm terrified that my interest in writing fiction will get in the way of writing an actual script--with actual dialogue--where the things my characters say will be the main instrument of my story expression.  My hope is that when the time comes to write a novel, I'll be one step closer to writing it, having been blooded on my vocal interaction.

To help with the formatting, Aaron suggested Celtx, which is free software for crying out loud, and even though I haven't had a chance to poke around with it, I'm sure it will be useful.  I have to read a few how-to's, but I am now registered as MalevolentDragon and if I can find and figure out a widget, I'll put a status marker in my sidebar.

Here's to finding out if what's in my head can translate to written word!

Intrepid Trepidation

I watched the 3/12/09 episode of The Daily Show with reluctance, because I hate seeing people embarrassed on TV, and I was pretty sure the interview with Jim Cramer would not be to his favor.  As usual, I was blown away by what I saw.  I'm impressed Cramer had the balls to do it, and he upped himself in my world, because it has got to be really hard to sit in that chair across from Stewart when he has home team advantage.  Mostly, I was surprised Cramer kept his cool, and both were pretty professional.

Stewart never ceases to amaze me by asking exactly the questions that need to be asked.  Sadly, I think Cramer dodged a lot of the direct bullets, but it was kind of vindicating to see him cop to some of the problems that his show (network?) cause.

The real question is, are the news networks ever going to change?  If they asked the questions that Stewart does, they would never get any interviews and the pretense of their empire would collapse.  One of the big reasons I'm interested in/horrified by Frost/Nixon is the idea that the interview recreated there is what basically ended objective journalism.  A public duel with the figurehead of the most powerful empire on Earth, which basically crippled the leader in a way he never recovered from.  Knowing that, no leader/CEO/figurehead will ever put themselves in a position of weakness ever again, which is why Jon Stewart gets interviews like the one last night once a fucking year.  It has nothing to do with the fact that his show is on Comedy Central, it's entirely because people know he will ask them things that they cannot spin and dodge away from, not to mention the power of his editing and writing teams who are extremely good at ramming a point home.

Stewart argues that CNBC should hold these people accountable for the lies they tell in the interviews, and I think he lives in a rosy world.  If the network burned every bridge they had, no one would watch because there would not be anything TO watch.  Not to mention that the public gets mad when it's nothing but bad news, all the time, and then they get mad when the network tries to lighten things up and doesn't go for blood in every single dialogue.

The Daily Show is popular now because our country (obviously) has some accountability issues, and Stewart seems to be in support of heavy accountability.  Until the public drops their faith in the credo, "Ignorance is bliss" and stops enjoying the lies that it tells itself, journalism that ruthlessly hunts down evil in every corner will die an early death every time it's born.  I am glad to see so many eyes in our generation opening (mine so recently included), but I still think we have a ways to go.

I want one

zOMGshe'ssodamncute!!!!!1111!1

Those sexy Watchmen

Aaron pointed me to a neat article about sex in Watchmen that sparked such a long response, I decided to post it here.  Very interesting except for a few points that I feel the author missed, which, IMHO, strongly affect why comics (and comic movies) are the way they are.

While the author does acknowledge that comics were (are?) aimed at a younger audience, I don't think he pays near enough credence to the fact that our society does not want children seeing sex.  Being huge video game nerds, Aaron, Scott, and I have watched the world dance around this subject, over and over, and I think we have all been very interested in finding out where these boundaries are, and why.  When I heard that Aaron had chosen a female lead character in an effort to witness the fabled "lesbian alien porn" scene in Mass Effect, I giggled inside, because it was exactly what I would have done.  Knowing me all too well, when I started asking him questions about Grand Theft Auto IV, he took his character to the burlesque house to show me how much ridiculous effort has gone into the minutiae of the game.

Both of these examples are done, I think, not because they are the adolescent fantasy of men who never grew up and had geeky childhoods, and therefore geeky adulthoods, but because they lend gravity to characters' actions (by making them more "real") and create atmosphere for the universe in which you're playing.  And, of course, the press had a field day with them, pointing out how our children are being exposed to porn, and it's the end of civilization as we know it.  The irony being that the only reason any children were exposed to it was because parents failed to police it properly, and civilization would only end if parents failed to handle it properly (which, they did--so maybe there's a point here...).

All this leads to our society not wanting to take responsibility for its actions, fearing the repercussions and knowing the guilt that would come from admitting a mistake.  But you cannot possibly overcome the fear and guilt unless you own-up to your errors, so we are all left with the fear and guilt, anyway.  We pass laws, we take our children out of certain classes at school, we rage and riot online and on TV, but in the end, everyone still hasn't admitted that it's okay for people to have sex, and your "children" will be exposed to it someday.  Better that it happens when your wise mind is there to help ease them along, than after they leave your nest, or (much more likely) when they hide it from you, knowing how poorly you would handle it.

Coming back to the point, this means people are afraid of letting sex into any medium that either might get into children's hands, or is specifically targeted at children.  Comics, video games, PG-13 movies, etc.  I think this has had more of an impact than anything else our puritanical society might throw out there.  We hate to think what our kids might be doing when we're not there, and we're terrified the neighbors might find out.

I think the reason the Watchmen comic may have been such a hit is because the people involved were not doing it just to make money, but because they wanted a work of art, which superceded the need to appeal to a mass audience of young-people.  People read it and said, "I love this!" or, "I hate this!" which is pinnacle when making art.  The purpose was to stimulate a reaction, and the reaction was generally positive, because the characters had a very tangible, relatable feel, which may have been due, in-part, to the visibility of their sexuality.  Everyone has sex.  Or wants to.

The movie and record industries are freaking out because society is becoming very blasé about their productions, which baffles me.  Any time you make art for the primary purpose of money instead of for love of the work, you will loose the thing that makes it great.  That's not to say they have to be mutually exclusive, but that people can tell the difference.  From what it sounds like, Snyder really does understand what made Watchmen great:  the reality of its characters.  Sex is probably a very necessary part of this movie, and I'm glad to hear it is not poorly executed (or thrown out!).  Is it groundbreaking?  As a work of art, perhaps, but only as an extension of the original Watchmen.  Perhaps as a sign that production companies are starting to recognize that art for the purpose of art, can make them money, instead of simply trying to make money, and hoping that it produces art.

Pride cometh before the falleth

I shouldn't have said anything; God, I just couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut.

Of course, as soon as I gave voice to the great things Vista is, it betrayed me.  Fortunately, I have not had to re-install it (yet), but as I just broke down and ordered that 1TB internal drive, it's only a matter of time.

Yesterday, I left the Cylon running to see how it fared with BitTorrent.  It went to sleep--and did not wake up.  Okay, so we turn off the auto-sleep feature.  I've still got my manual sleep, which is cool, because now I can finish all those programs that don't take too well to Leoben's narcolepsy, and give him a controlled dose of valium myself.  Which I did at the end of the night as I went to bed.

When I woke up, I wanted my Cylon buddy with me, so I again attempted ressucitation.  This time, he awoke, but seemed very sluggish and confused.  So much so that my previously lauded sidebar crashed and would not restart.  Then Windows Explorer crashed, and although it claims to have restarted, nothing I was clicking on was doing anything, and the task manager would not present itself, despite my vain attempts.

*sigh* We were doing so well, Leoben.

I assume the new thing that is causing the sleep function to not work properly is the anti-virus and spy ware.  Avast and Spybot like to run system monitoring processes all the time, if you let them, and I bet this, "Wait!  We're stopping everything for minute!" concept doesn't jive well with them.  I'll have to play around and see if I can get it worked out.

I also received The Witcher: Enhanced Edition in the mail yesterday.  I was so excited I locked my keys in my car--with the engine running.  As it turns out, The Witcher is completely surrounded by disfunctionality, and I had merely moved into it's aura of influence.

While I bought it on eBay, for cheap, the buyer claims it was new and it had all the usual seals that mark software as such (though having worked in the games industry, I know all too well how to circumvent and re-inscribe these).  Upon opening the case, I immediately saw that the design of the interior plastic had mauled my manual.  Nothing too drastic, but it has cuts through most of the pages on three sides.  This is "enhanced"?  Okay, no biggie.  I'll probably read it once, then put it away forever anyway.  As I began reading it, I discovered it is not a manual at all, but a brick of a strategy guide, complete with spoiler warnings.  Also included is the obligatory "put the DVD in your PC" document, as well as a brief excerpt from one of the Witcher books, which is so horribly edited that whatever atmosphere they were trying to create was shattered after the 12th mis-hyphenated word and improperly placed punctuation.  I know we're going for gobal guys, but pay a local who is well versed to look things over.

In anticipation of the many technical problems I had heard of, I ran up the official website to see if there was a newer patch, and sure enough, version 1.4 is ready to go.  The website redirects to a native Polish website (as CD Projekt is a Polish dev team) which has rough English and poor navigation, but I eventually found the download.  Low and behold, the patch is a mighty 989MB (!) and even at the impressive 300k/sec rate they were pushing it out, it still took me over 30 minutes to get the whole damn thing.

As space was starting to become a premium on the Vista partition, I started poking around to figure out WTF was taking up so much space.  Apparently, 8GB of RAM was not enough and the system had allocated another 8GB from the drive for a swap file.  Christ, if I ever need that much memory, I'm betting my PC is having more problems than simply needing a swap file.  I was tempted to turn it off, but all the warnings made me nervous, so I gave it a gig, but now I finally had adequate space to install the game.

Upon installing, I chose "Custom" to discover that the game wants to install voice-overs for every single one of nine the languages.  Untoggling these almost halved the install size down to just shy of 9GB (though the box claims 8) and away we go.  Once installed, I fired up the patch to discover it only needed 3.44MB of space.  Then it dawned on me that the link only leads you to a site hosting the entire "Enhanced" package (which I already installed) for download with the most recent patch.  I almost feel sorry for the guy looking at the bandwidth bills when he simply could have given me an English site with two different patches, one of which would cost him a few cents per download.

And by then, it was time for me to go to work, so I haven't even fired the game up yet.  >_<

Game revision production FAIL.