As the demonic day approaches, I notice some interesting things at Rotten Tomatoes. I decided to explore the upcoming menagerie of crappy Halloween horror/suspense flicks and, surprisingly, this year we are very shallow in the shallow cinema.
Fears of the Dark (Trailer) - French animated ghost-stories film by 5 graphic artists. While RT seems to give it a thumbs up, the reviews say that it is beautiful to see, but does not jump-start the heart (though that may be because we require more to get us riled up, these days)
Saw V (Trailer) - This seems like our generation's Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. While I have yet to see even the first (which people tell me is really the only one that might be worth your time) I guess the fifth is inevitable. I feel like I'm letting my people down because I have seen all of the movies in the other two series... (blush) including the cross-over. No reviews yet for this one, but I expect it to follow the rating trend for iterations II (36%), III (26%), and IV (19%). Somehow, they keep making money.
Let the Right One In (HD Trailer) - A vampire as seen through the eyes of a child and all the wonder that kind of innocence invokes. I guess it's Swedes all around for us on the 24th, though I'm unsure if this is actually in Swedish, or just directed by one. After seeing what the Russians could do, I am extremely excited about this, and while I wait until a film has at least 10 ratings on RT before I start assuming a trend, so far this movie has scored perfectly with 11. I hope we get this around here.
The Haunting of Molly Hartley (Trailer) - Teen "haunted" (double entendre) by her psychotic mother's choices. Here lies the true stinker, destined to prove--yet again--that when you base a movie's success on its cast, there isn't much else there worth watching. Normally, I laud the use of a PG-13 rating in movies like this, because it means we won't have another gore-porn fest. Unfortunately, it seems pretty obvious that this was done to capture a broader (read: younger) audience.
Splinter (Trailer) - A criminal car-jacking couple and a young camping couple hole-up in a deserted gas station to face-off against a strange moster-thing (See? The hyphens are like "splinters"!). Here's the obligatory new creature feature of the season, and while the plot premise sounds ludicrous, the trailer has me intrigued. Ever since Aaron made me watch Slither, I realized that to enjoy movies like this, you have to kinda put your rationality aside and just go with it. If it entertains, then it's good. If not, it's bad. You can't judge monster movies by too many other standards, because they will always fall short.
Repo! The Genetic Opera (HD Trailer) - Oh. My. God. Go watch the trailer, right now. Just go watch it. A sci-fi rock-opera about a future where financing organ loans is what saves humanity from extinction (and legalizes murder). Frank Miller-esque visuals on top of a Rocky Horror Picture Show idea. Award winning opera singer, Sarah Brightman? Anthony Stewart Head? Paris fucking Hilton?? Sign me up! How this slipped under my radar is beyond me, but I will travel as far as Chicago if i have to, on my own, to see this movie in theaters.
So concludes my assessment. I have, for the sake of civilized decency, skipped the most horrifying of them all.